BUSH BUMPER SNICKERS That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties anyway Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber. Where is Lee Harvey Oswald when We Need Him? If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet? George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blow… Continue

Blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, He yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair given that you are blind -- that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The boun… Continue

A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He say… Continue

Two blondes were sitting in colorado when one asks the other "Which do you think is closer the moon or florida?" The other one replies "helllooooooooo.... Can you see florida?"

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer and n… Continue

UPS Pilot Notes --- Get ready to laugh Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lac… Continue

Games for Senior Citizens... 1. Sag, you're It. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 Questions. . . Shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick the bucket. 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6. Musical recliners. 7. Simon says something incoherent. 8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive , press 1 repeatedly!!! If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother S… Continue